Brainiac 5: Have A Drink
by BrokenIntoxication
Summary: It's Impulse bothering Brainiac 5 to the point where he drinks. I think thats description enough.


Note: This is my favorite story. I wrote it as an introduction for a dream sequence about squirrels that I never wrote. xD

Brainiac 5 sighed and passed the tiny floating shot glass from hand to hand. The clear liquid splashed up against the sides and spilled out a bit. Brainy didn't care about the mess because his work desk was clear. In fact it was the only space in his whole damn lab that wasn't a horrid mess.

"I-I can't believe what that maniac did to my lab," he mumbled to the room while bringing his face down into both his hands. He let out another loud and exasperated sigh and grabbed the shot glass. "Well...down it goes," he announced as he threw his head back and tipped the glass up. His eyebrows scrunched together and he coughed a few times. "No matter how many times I drink it, this stuff is still disgusting," he said as he placed the empty shot glass down. It lifted itself up and gently hovered in place.

"Then what are you drinking it for?" asked a disembodied voice. Brainiac just ignored the voice and poured more of the liquid in the glass. "Seriously, since when do you drink Silver Ale? And since when do you drink just to get drunk?" asked Invisible Kid as he slowly materialized next to Brainy. Brainiac ignored Invisible Kid's questions and downed another shot. "Oh Brainy. I know you're upset about your lab, but it's not so bad. Really," added Invisible Kid as he sat down.

"Which lab are _you_ looking at, Lyle? Can't you see the destruction?! So much hard work all down the drain in...seconds!" Brainiac gasped as he squeezed the shot glass in his hand.

"You're going to break that and cut yourself," said Invisible Kid as he reached over and took the glass from his glum friend. Lyle looked around the lab, trying to truly assess the damage. Intergalactic reactors, beakers, Brainy's special supercomputers, parts of everything that wasn't smashed in place was scattered around the lab. Lyle directed his attention to Brainy's most recent invention and the one he was most proud of: his new and improved Time Bubble. The Time Bubble was almost unrecognisable. Only the base of the time traveling machine was left intact. The rest was merely scattered glass near the base of the bubble that glittered under the lab's lights if looked at at the correct angle.

Lyle could only wonder how that had happened. The glass of the bubble had been crafted from one of the strongest opaque substances in the universe and was nearly indestructible. Yet the Time Bubble like everything else in Brainy's lab, was decimated. No matter how hard Brainy worked, replacing all this would take months. Lyle understood why Brainiac was so upset.

Invisible Kid placed a hand on Brainiac's back and said as soothingly as possible, "You know, you don't have to drink because the lab is ruined. You can just fix it. It shouldn't even take you that long, I mean with me helping you-"

"That doesn't matter to me right now, I just want to forget this ever happened," said Brainiac as he grabbed the shot glass from Lyle and began to pour more Silver Ale into it. At this point he'd had three shots and the world was a touch out of focus, so his hands shook as he tried to pour. Silver Ale spilled from the bottle and hit the rim of the glass. "Grife," he said putting the bottle down and burying his face in his hands once more.

"Fine," said Invisible Kid with a roll of his eyes. "Let me do it for you." Lyle poured the alcohol for his green skinned friend and placed the glass in front of him. Brainiac looked at Invisible Kid for a moment and then said, "Drink with me, Lyle."

"Oh no, if I do that who will keep an eye on you? You always tend to drink too much when you're depressed...and then you usually get sick. How can I help you if I drink too?" asked Invisible Kid. Brainiac brought his chin down to the table and placed it on his hands, "I don't deserve such a good friend as you."

Lyle smiled and chuckled, "That's definitely the alcohol talking."

"It isn't," replied Brainiac as he swallowed the shot. He'd missed his mouth a bit and some of the Silver Ale was running down his chin. "Thats how I really feel," he added while swiping at the dribble.

"Well then that's rather flattering, especially coming from you. But if I may change the subject, who in the universe did this kind of damage to your lab before you could stop them?" asked Invisible Kid motioning to the destruction.

"The-the devel of...shpeed and stupidness," mumbled Brainiac into his clenched hands.

"Eh? Who? And stupidness? Don't you mean...stupidity?" asked Lyle.

"Impulshe. It was t-that monkey, Impulse. He ruin-ed my lab in some seconds…" Brainiac trailed off after that and Invisible Kid could tell those shots were really starting to take effect.

"Oh? I had no idea Impulse was at Legion Headquarters. Where is he?" asked Invisible Kid as he glanced around Brainy's lab.

"There," replied Brainiac pointing to the only darkened corner of the room that hadn't caught Invisible Kid's attention until now.

"You didn't do something weird to him in a rage now did you, Brainy?" asked Lyle with a slight quiver in voice. Brainiac shrugged in response and downed another shot. Lyle realized he should probably take the booze away from his green-skinned friend, but really his first priority now was making sure Impulse was alright. He stood up and slowly walked over to the dark corner, readying himself for whatever Brainy might have done to Impulse. "H-hey, Bart? B-buddy? You there?...You okay?" called Lyle as he walked. There was no response and Invisible Kid swallowed hard.

When he finally got to the dark corner he saw a human shaped lump lying on some debris. As he waited a moment to let his eyes adjust to the darkness, Invisible Kid saw the human lump was breathing. They were deep and even breaths. In and out in perfect time, almost as if it was...sleeping.

"Bart?!" shouted Invisible Kid as he grabbed the human lump and turned it towards him. He looked down and saw a peacefully sleeping Impulse. "Bart, wake up," ordered Lyle as he shook the spazzy kid. But Impulse just sighed and kept sleeping.

"Hey! Brainiac! Stop drowning your sorrows in Silver Ale for a moment and tell me what you did to this poor kid," Invisible Kid shouted across the room to his now more than tipsy 12th level intellect friend.

"R-relex Lyle. I only ssshot him full of Ritalin an a sleping grug that I sythnized to work on his mmm-metabowlism," replied Brainiac as he staggered in Lyle's general direction.

"You what? Nass, Brainy do those drugs even mix well?" demanded Lyle as he stood up and walked back towards Brainiac.

"Itsss fine. He's jussst gon slep fo a while. When he akes up he'll be as anoyin as everrr," said Brainiac as he put his hands on Lyle's shoulders to steady himself. Lyle sighed, took Brainy's hands off of him and said, "Ok, it's about time I take that Silver Ale away from you." Invisible Kid took the bottle and capped it. "I'm going to put it away...in the kitchen. Just sit down until I get back," ordered Lyle.

"But I-" Brainiac's reply was cut off as his voice caught in his throat. He hung his head down as tears began to form in the corner's of his eyes.

"Brainy?" asked Invisible Kid as he cocked his head to the side. "Y-you're not crying are you? Holy nass, I don't believe it!" he exclaimed as he put the bottle down on the table. He walked over to Brainiac and put his arm around him. "What's wrong? What are you crying for? The lab isn't that bad! You're a terrible drunk, but this isn't like you…" whispered Lyle with his eyes glinting with genuine concern.

"I...I jusst wanted to-to hav a drinnk withhh you," slurred Brainiac as he sat down and wiped his face. "And don you l-lie to me I know mmmmy lab iss…..," Brainy looked up at the ceiling as if the word he was looking for had been flung up there during the lab's decimation. After a few moments he snapped back to life and said, "garbaged. So cud youu…..jst humer meh an….," Brainy's sentence trailed off again as he leaned on his folded arms and closed his eyes. Lyle chuckled to himself as he sat back down next to the now snoring green man.

"Ok, greenie you win," announced Invisible Kid as he grabbed the shot glass and filled it up. "To rebuilding the lab! Right, Br-," but Lyle stopped as he saw drool drip from Brainiac's mouth. Invisible Kid sighed and scratched his head. "Hey Brainy, wake up…" he whispered softly shaking his friend.

"Mmmmm…..Lyle? Um up! Um aaawake!" shouted Brainy as he shot up.

"Um are we going to drink? Or should I just walk you to your quarters?" asked Lyle. "Actually I'm not letting you drink anymore. You're definately done," Lyle whispered to himself as Brainiac slowly processed what Invisible Kid had just asked.

"R-really Lyle?" asked Brainiac with wide eyes. Invisible Kid had never seen Brainy like this. He was so happy and carefree. Perhaps drinking every now and then would prove good for The Legion's smartest shut-in.

"Of course, I'm holding the glass aren't I?" asked Lyle holding up the shot glass. "Now let's toast: To rebuilding your lab!" he shouted and gulped the liquor down. He shuddered and stuck his tongue out.

"To-to rebewlding mmy lab!" repeated Brainiac as he cupped his hand and mimicked taking a shot.

. . .


End file.
